So You Binged – Now What?

So a piece of pizza turned into an entire pizza which led to a bag of M&M’s which were washed down with a pint of ice cream and topped off with a bag of chips just for good measure.  You feel disgusting, bloated, stuffed, uncomfortable, angry, upset, confused, annoyed, sad, but mostly, out of control.  If you’re a chronic dieter, you are all too familiar with the instance I just outlined.  Heck, you may have even lived it last night.  Each binge looks different, if this isn’t you, maybe your binge looks like overeating (or never stopping eating) at family parties, or every time you go out to dinner with friends, or eating all the leftover cookies and snacks in the break room.  I don’t know about you, but in my dieting days, any sort of binge would have immediately been followed up by a “clean eating day”, no carbs, a little extra cardio and strict food rules.  The name of the game would be punishment for the behavior and super strict, fool proof, rules that would “get me back on track”.  This is the typical response for any dieter when their “will power” caves and they find themselves on the other side of an all out food frenzy.

The thing is, this response is the exact thing that is leading you back to that binge each and every time.  I’ve discussed before that a lack of “willpower” is not your problem and that dieting will never lead to your ultimate “happiness” – so I’m sure you are thinking, “well ok then, Steph, what are my other options?”.  I’m happy you asked 🙂  Your other option is to REJECT the diet mentality and to choose to use your binge as a learning opportunity.   Use it as a means to figuring out why you have certain habits with food and what type of instances, emotions or events trigger a binge.  So here are 3 steps you can take to make that binge one of your last….

1.  Forgive Yourself & Extend Yourself Compassion.  I know this may sound all Brady Bunch to you, but trust me when I tell you that it is the single most important thing you MUST learn to do when you’re at the other end of a binge.   Think of it this way – if you came home to your child (or niece, nephew, adorable neighbor, any small kid you love) sitting on the floor outside of the pantry zoned out shoving handful after handful of food down their throat with a perplexed look on their face, how would you react?  Would you yell at them to go to their room and demand that they only eat celery and carrots for the rest of the week and run 3 miles per day for what they were doing?  OR would you meet them where they were, ask them what was wrong, why they were doing that and try to figure out how you could HELP them through this?   In these moments, you are that child.

The binge is a direct reaction to some sort of inner turmoil or emotion/feeling or belief that is boiling up inside of you and not being addressed or met.  The sooner you can recognize this and learn to forgive yourself for the outward display of whatever it is, the sooner you will be on your path to your last binge.

2.  Conduct a Binge ‘Debrief’.  This is so important.  If you struggle with binges often, I recommend you get out a notebook and start becoming curious.  Ask yourself what you are feeling right afterwards – write it ALL down, the good, the bad and the ugly.  Then continue to ask yourself a series of questions – things like:

-What you were feeling before the binge? 

-What happened earlier in the day? 

-Are you anxious about tomorrow? 

-Are you upset about a conversation at work or with a spouse? 

-Are you stressed out? 

-Are you feeling lonely and sad? 

-Were you over hungry when you started eating or not hungry at all? 

-Was there a certain event or food that “triggered” the binge? 

-Are you tired?

-Have you been following “diet rules”?

Gathering all of this information is crucial for starting to understand your patterns and habits.  It will also be essential for uncovering those emotional areas that you may need to start paying more attention to and figuring out.  Binges don’t “just happen” – there is an underlying reason behind each and every one.  This ‘debrief’ is how we start to uncover what those reasons are.

3. Move on.  Sitting and fretting about what has already happened will do nothing but launch you into a tornado of self-pity and guilt, which is both unnecessary and unproductive for personal growth.  Once you’ve processed the binge, the next step is to let it go and move on with your day or night.  I know this is hard.  This is hard because your ‘diet voice’ is telling you to dwell on it and to replay every piece of food you put in your mouth so that you can use that knowledge to punish yourself and convince yourself that you must try to “be good” or get back on the “diet bandwagon” the next day.  But this is why this step is critical.  Moving on is a CHOICE.  It is a choice that is in your power to make and the more you practice making that choice, the easier it will be to make it the next time.  Do whatever it takes to move on – call a friend, read a book, go for a walk, take a bath – anything that will remove you from the binge/guilt mindset and re-align yourself with your current moment.

Binges are never a pretty thing.  However, they are extremely useful “red flags” from our inner worlds that, when listened to and paid attention to, can be your mile markers to a new relationship with food and with yourself.   The simple act of bringing acknowledgement and curiosity to the table is huge.  I know that re-figuring out how to listen to your body is tough.  Like really tough.  I know because I’ve been there.  But I also know that it is the most empowering and freeing thing ever when you start to get through it. 

I hope this post was both encouraging and helpful for you.  If you feel like you need more help in this area, I would love an opportunity to speak with you more about this topic or any of your diet struggles.  I know that the world of dieting can be so alluring and promising, but I’m here to promise you that breaking free of that life and learning to love yourself and listen to yourself trumps those empty promises by miles!  😉