Real Talk On Self-Talk - Stephanie Rogers

February 9, 2016 Stephanie

A little food for thought/tough love for you today. Have you ever stopped to notice how you talk to yourself inside your head? Now before you stop reading and count me off as crazy, just hear me out. SO many of us (especially those of us who have ever or do struggle with food, diet, weight, body image, etc) have a constant negative, degrading and malicious conversation about ourselves happening in our minds throughout the day. You know the voice; “UGH you look so fat, you can’t wear that.”, “Gosh, you’re such a failure, it’s no wonder no one wants to date you.”, “You overate again, I can’t believe it…you’ll never lose weight.”, “You still can’t find a better job? You should probably just give up, you’re not good enough to get that job.” That voice…that annoying voice that is always bringing you down.

Here’s the thing about that voice. It probably started off as a meaningful intention you had for yourself or out of a quest to feel loved, accepted for who you are or heard as an individual. But somewhere down the road it turned it’s back on you and morphed into a shame monster. Now all it does it make you feel bad about yourself, bring you down on a good day and feed you lies that you aren’t good enough and that you don’t deserve the things you want in life. If you truly want to start LOVING yourself, your life and your circumstances – you have GOT to learn to tackle that shame monster. The awesome part is that we have all the power to control those thoughts and to fend them off. We each have the power to fight back and replace those thoughts with true, life giving and productive thoughts. So the question then becomes this:

– Do you truly want to change for the better…do you really, really want to take control of your life once and for all?

You may think this seems like a ridiculous thing to ask (because of course people want to change these things about themselves/their lives and how they think about themselves, duh), but I find that in a lot of cases, people talk about wanting to change things about themselves or their lives, but when it comes down to it, they really aren’t at a place where they are willing to put in the emotional and mental energy it takes to truly transform. Major changes are hard, they require a TON of intentionality, persistence and soul-searching. They take a long time, they test patience and they always come with set-backs and periods of feeling “out of control”. Changing your inner-dialogue is no different. It may sound more simple than a “major change”, but I assure it’s not. These are things you’ve been allowing to cross your mind for years, sometimes decades. It’s going to take some real time to re-frame these thoughts and actions. But the good news is…it can absolutely be done.

So what’s the first step in making these changes? It’s actually relatively simple – just start paying attention for and acknowledging your inner thoughts. Take note of which situations or people or places are triggers for negative thought patterns and what those voices are telling you. Then take the time to write them down. Once you know what those voices are telling you and when they show up, you can start catching them AS they happen and stop them in the moment. This is where the true transformational process begins. Again, it’s not easy but absolutely worth it and absolutely possible. A lot of times it can be helpful to have some one to help you through you it. I’d love to have a conversation with you on this….

So what do you think? Does this resonate with you? What does the self-talk in your head sound like? Are you ready to take back control of your thoughts?