Five Secrets to Reaching Your Goals

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Do you believe some people are just born with the ability to set a goal and accomplish it without breaking a sweat, or do you believe it’s within anyone’s reach with the right mindset, tools and motivation?  Do you think you could finally get to that “goal weight”, or become that ‘workout warrior’ or never stray from eating well again if only you too were born with that special ability to set and stick to a goal?  Well, I’m here today to tell you that the ability to set and reach those goals is not something that you are either born with or will never be able to attain…it is something that can be learned and better yet, can be broken down into 5 simple “intangible” characteristics.  Curious?  🙂

I had the privelage of being able to attend the Global Leadership Summit last Thursday and Friday, and WOW – so powerful, so inspirational and I walked away with an amount of knowledge that I’ll need another week to completely mentally digest! One of my favorite session was one that tackled this exact topic.  Bill Hybels was the presenter, and the idea he presented was that there are 5 “intangibles” that successful leaders possess that appropriately equip them to set goals and accomplish them all while rallying their troops as well.  Now I know a good portion of us don’t necessarily need to worry about rallying an organization, or being a leader in our day to day lives, but I believe these 5 intangibles could be the key to success in all areas of our lives, including health and well-being.

Let’s dig in to each of the 5 aspects and see how we can use them in our own lives….

1.  Grit – passion and perseverance over the long haul.  People with true grit believe that they can overcome anything that comes their way.  They are determined – they “play when they’re hurt” and will themselves through difficult tasks or times.  They are in the mindset that they CAN achieve that goal so they welcome challenges and see them as a means to getting to that goal, not as a reason to stop trying.  What do you do when the going gets tough?  When you are two weeks into eating healthy and you have one “bad” day, do you see it as a sign that you’ll never be able to succeed with eating healthy, or do you see it as a learning experience meant to strengthen you for the next similar life situation that pops up?  How to get better at this?  The answer is by welcoming challenges.  Grit development demands difficulty, it demands you to be in situations where you will be challenged.  The arch enemy of grit is ease – so the next time you are placed into a situation that leaves you uncomfortable and questioning if you’ll be able to make it through to reach your goal – welcome it with open arms and dive in head first!

2.  Self Awareness – understanding what the core motives behind your decisions and choices are.  People with self awareness understand that, in their humanness, they may be likely to make a decision based on something that has happened in the past.  They also realize that we each have “blind spots” – something that we believe we do well, but everyone else around us realizes that we do not.  They use this knowledge to be extra cautious and careful to make sure they decide based on the current situation only.  Why are you really deciding to not try out that new dance workout class you’ve been eyeing for months?  Are you just “not interested”, or did someone once tell you years ago that you were uncordinated and would never be able to keep time?  How to get better at this?  Simply by having conversations with others.  Asking them to point out things you may do to yourself that inhibit you from attaining your goals that maybe you don’t see.  Perhaps you have a habit of staying up too late which inhibits you from reaching your personal goal of working out 3 times a week, or you always eat lunch while reading your favorite magazine which inhibits you from actually noticing and enjoying the food you are eating which leads to the snacking in the afternoon that you just can’t seem to stop, etc…bottom line here is curiousity and question asking – both inward and outward.

3.  Resourcefulness – quick learning and endless curiousity.  Resourceful people aren’t paralyzed by a struggle.  They roll up their sleeves and start trying to “figure out” what needs to be done.  They are addicted to learning and use failed attempts as learning opportunities, not setbacks.  You’ve been eating so well and all of a sudden you find yourself at the bottom of an Oreo bag and you have no idea why.  Do you see this as sign that you are a failure and will never succeed, or do you get curious and ask yourself what else is going on in your life that may have led you here (you’re tired, stressed, sad) and figure out what actions you can take to not let this happen the next time those feelings come up?  How to get better at this?  Start putting yourself in disfunctional and confused situations and figure it out.  If you fail, try again, if you fail again, try again until you figure it out.  Do you tend to overeat every time you are out to dinner with others so now you avoid it until you lose the weight and become “normal” around food?  That’s your disfunctional situation, start going out with friends more often SO that you can figure out what it is about the situation that leaves you feeling “out of control” and brainstorm ways to keep it from happening the next time.  If those ideas don’t work the first time?  Perfect!  Try again!  🙂

4.  Self-sacraficing Love – loving yourself as you are.  People with this type of love have learned to see themselves through positive, loving eyes.  They realize that at our core, all humans want to be loved and accepted as they are and operate at their peak when they know this is true.  They know they have faults, but welcome them as a part of who they are.  It’s hard to have true grit or believe in yourself when you are participating in self-hate conversations in your head or constantly thinking what it is about yourself that lacks or needs to be changed before you can be worthy of reaching your goals.  Be mindful of the language you allow in your head.  What are your first thoughts when you “mess up” – “I can’t believe you did that, you are so stupid, you will never figure this out”?  Sound familiar?  If so, it’s time to start practicing some self-sacraficing love.  How to get better at this?  Start noticing what your language sounds like.  Half the battle here is recognizing your thought patterns.  Once you start recognizing it, you can start fixing it.  Then begin listing out the things you love about yourself right now and add one thing to that list every day.  Unless you genuinely start caring about yourself and loving yourself right now, you will never reach your goal.  This is key!

5.  Sense of Meaning – the “what, how and why” of your goals.   People with a sense of meaning understand their “white hot why” of what they are striving for.  They are clear on the reasons for the hardwork and challenges and they use these to fuel their fire and motivation.  Another way to say this is getting to the heart of your goal.  If your reasoning for losing those 30 pounds is solely so you can get into that one pair of skinny jeans – chances are you aren’t going to make it very far.  You need to dig down and understand WHY you want to get into those jeans?  Does it mean you will finally have the courage to talk to that cute guy at work, you’ll have enough energy to play with your kids, you will have the courage to start that dream job, etc?  How to get better at this? Start by simply asking yourself why you want to reach a certain goal – then continue with the follow up question of “because..” and then “which means…” until you get to the core of it.  Once you understand the underlying need you are trying to fulfill with that goal, it will be much easier to take the correct steps towards achieving them.

So there you have it, 5 “intangibles” that could very well be the missing puzzle piece to finally reaching your goals once and for all!  There’s a lot of content here and a lot of food for thought – but I’d love to hear from you on this!

POST BELOW which of the 5 you feel you are the weakest in and something you can do this week to start getting better at it!

Thanks for reading!

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Stephanie

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